FRU: Weekly Wrap!

So much travelling these days that some of the main stories are passing me by so I thought I’d catch up, in the old FRU style, on what’s been happening in the wild and wacky world of Ulster Rugby!

Big in Japan!

Some of the Southern trash press, well the Irish Independent, appear to have been chosen by Cornerflag as the vehicle to “put out there” the allegation that if the IRFU don’t play ball during Ferris’  contract negotiations then the big man would be off to the Land of the Rising Sun for a few tens of million yen. A story subsequently picked up by by RSS feed reader site Joe.ie and by the Independent’s sister site the Belfast Telegraph.

Before too long, it was a slow news week in the rugby world, the story was repeated on the BBC Sport site striking fear into the hearts of  the middle class Ulster unionist (small u) majority who have relied on the  Beeb as the font of all knowledge since the start of the troubles in the late 60’s. Mind you it’s never been quite so reliable since they stopped playing “The Queen” when they used to shut down for the night!

Strangely enough, the resultant Japanese publicity and the leaking of supposed “Pay per Play” deals offered by the IRFU has left Ulster delightfully squeaky clean in the whole affair with the IRFU getting all the blame as the heartless employers. (Does no one else see a picture of David Humphreys sitting in his port-a-cabin at Newforge stroking a large white cat whispering, “Soon you will be mine Wigglesworth! Soon!”)

What do I think? Well, this season will be long enough to see a couple of games out of Ferris. If we do, and he comes through unscathed, the IRFU will be offering him a sizeable Central Contract suitably boosted by these pre settlement shenanigans from Cornerflag.  If we don’t, then a thirteen match season as a piece of prime Ulster beef for the Kobe Steel Kobelco Steelers would give the big man a gentle enough rehabilitation and see him back in Ulster colours in time for the business end of the season.

Big Dad John!

The imminent arrival of Afoa junior No. 3 was also causing considerable consternation in the ranks with the fear that a late arrival may mean, well, a late arrival of big bad Afoa ahead of Ulster’s Quarterfinal against Saracens!

Thankfully, before some of the supporters imploded at the audacity of Big John putting family before a game of rugby, our Twitter feeds were gently rocking to the news that little Violet Afoa arrived fit and healthy during the third hour of Ulster’s win over Leinster! Mind you by that stage the worry abut Afoa’s availability had been somewhat lessened by the performances of Lutton and McCall against Leinster, summed up somewhat nicely on Afoa’s twitter feed by the big man himself;

And Still They Return! 

There has been much speculation about the return of James McKinney to the Ulster fold as a replacement for the France bound Niall O’Connor all of which may or not be true. However we’re happy to put the FRU seal of approval on the latest tittle tattle to hit FRU HQ!

Expect the return of FRU Favourite David McIlwaine next season as a replacement for the departing D’Arcy. Remember you heard it here first!