The hardcore Ulster support, have upon hearing their team’s quarter final game is in Milton Keynes, rushed out in a frenzy, that would make an Egyptian protester look benign and booked up all the planes out of the Belfast airports for the weekend of the 8th to 10th April.
It has left the jobsworthy and merely mortal supporter contemplating sky high air fares, if you’ll pardon the pun and a race to make it to Milton Keynes by any means.
I checked with Charlie, one of the Kilkeel trawler skippers to see if there had been any interest from supporters wanting a lift to the mainland. Charlie reported he and his fellow skippers would be keen to help out the Ulstermen and hey, they could even bring a motorbike with them.
The only note of caution Charlie struck was that the SUFTUM’s would be dropped off somewhere on the mainland coastline and he couldn’t guarantee they wouldn’t have to swim ashore!
Thinking ahead and picturing SUFTUM’s as boat people I thought I would check with the mainland coastguard to see if they had any preparations in hand for little craft crammed to the gills with Ulster supporters foundering in rough waters off the Isle of Man or elsewhere.
After explaining that I thought there would be a raft of tiny craft washing up on the Cumbria coast, loaded up with Ulstermen desperate to make it to Milton Keynes the officer explained that he wasn’t aware that such an event would take place.
He earnestly assured me, that his organisation would be prepared for just about anything and that included hot air balloons ditching in the icy waters of the Irish Sea. What about Cessna aircraft smashing into the side of the Cumbrian mountains or microlites landing on motorways, had he taken into account those sort of disasters?
I was picturing 30 Cessna aircraft taking off from Newtownards airport on Saturday the 9th April and was certain, given the high cost of fuel, that many wouldn’t make it as far as the Isle of Man, let alone the fields around Northampton.
After reassuring me, they would be prepared for anything should it happen, the man from the coastguard rang off, whilst I had a vision of some posters from the UAFC forum making it on the crest of hot air spouted in their verbose postings on the messageboard.
I hope to make it by any means, though a registered craft would be preferable.
In Da Bear’s House
It’s 5p.m. in the Bear’s house and Daddy Bear, Mummy Bear, Daisy Bear, Davey Bear and Baby Bear are sitting down to eat their Saturday evening meal. The Bear’s favourite team, Ulster Rugby won their match at Ravenhill the night before and Daddy Bear is in a good mood.
He has ordered Mummy Bear to cook a Ferris fry, a hard hitting mix of potato bread bacon, sausage and egg with lashings of tomato sauce. Daddy Bear is seated in a big red leather chair with’Sparky’ emblazoned across the back, whilst Mummy bear’s reads ‘coach’.
Daddy Bear is eschewing pre meal prayer in favour of everyone except Baby bear grabbing their knife and fork and at the command of ‘crouch’, lurching forward towards the dinner plate, poking the fry at the command of ‘touch’ followed by Daddy Bear shouting, ‘pause’ and then ‘’engage’ as everyone attacks the fry.
There’s a bacon overlap with the potato bread on Daddy Bear’s plate and he cuts through the bacon like a knife through butter before side stepping the potato bread and touching down on the egg yolk. Great move compliments Mummy Bear as Davey Bear complains the soda bread is proving a tough nut to crack. Mummy Bear lends a hand.
Tea finishes with Marshall Mallows and Davey Bear gets told off for passing a Marshall mallow to Daisy Bear high and to her right. The mallow sticks to her fur above her right eye and she is distraught. Fearing retribution from Mummy Bear, Davey Bear goes out into the garden to practice his kicking.
A strong wind is blowing down the garden as Davey Bear tees up and kicks straight over the fence with the wind and into the neighbour’s beer tent as he has a barbecue. Davey Bear is sent to his bedroom for an hour after Daddy Bear gives him a yellow card.
Next week in the big Bear house, it’s Wannenburgers for tea and Danelli ice cream for dessert. Daddy Bear is in a bad mood as Ulster lost and Daisy bear says she prefers Pienaar soup for starters.
Cheeseheads America’s Most Unglamorous Team
There was another bear with a sore head the other week as the Bear’s favourite team, the Chicago Bears were sent packing by America’s most unglamorous team, the Green Bay Packers. The sore bear in question is Ulster’s loosehead, Bryan ‘the Bear’ Young who has transferred his loyalty to the triumphant Packers.
The Packers and their band of loyal fans, known as ‘cheeseheads’ are generally used to playing the play offs in sub zero temperatures with wind chill, sometimes as low as minus 13 at their home ground which is in Green Bay, Wisconsin, near the great lakes and located in an extremely northerly latitude,
This year they have done it the hard way as they won on the road. It’s almighty difficult to win ‘on the road’ in the play offs, essentially the knock out stage of the American football season but both teams have arrived at the super bowl via the scenic route.
I’m sure the bear will be up rooting for the Packers as the game kicks off at 11.25pm tonight. I know I’ll be rooting for America’s unglamorous team, they’re a bit like Ulster, generally ignored in favour of the more fashionable teams.
HWM take note: Neither team has cheerleaders!!
Stately Homes, Reside in Peace.
Bumped into Glynncommando on Friday night and he informs me that Stately Homes has passed away, and I now see that the Ed has paid a fitting tribute.
My sympathies go to his family and friends. Many Ulster supporters will know Stately better than I do and he will be remembered for his sunny disposition and character.
Stately is currently featured on the photograph at the portal to this site. He is standing on the right of the photo as you look at it. He will be greatly missed by those Ulster supporters who know him well and for his dedication to supporting Ulster.
RIP.
The On/Off Saga of GC’s Beard.
When speaking to Glynncommando I noticed he was once again sporting his Sheriff of Nottingham beard. Reader’s of the blog will recall my reporting of GC clad in a beard at the Biarritz match and the subsequent removal of said hirsute from chin following my blogging revelations.
Well the beard is back and GC continues to confound the critics, (me) with his hirsute circus.
I await his latest personification at the Cardiff match.
Ireland’s Close Call
Too close for comfort and the sectarian strand to RTE’s punditry is becoming tiresome with Rory Best being singled out by Hook at half time. Rugby punditry as entertainment is an insult to all right minded and discerning rugby fans.
Corrections, comments or questions?