I’ve an old mug in the cupboard, er no, it’s not me and I now have it sitting in front of me at the computer as I type. It’s an old Ulster mug, I repeat it’s not me but I feel the way this mug looks.
It’s a traditional Ulster mug with a rather faded but still large red hand and a big red cross within a shield encompassing the legendary red hand.
It looks like it’s been through the wringer, sorry dishwasher a bit too often and the vibrant red has now diminished to a kind of slight pinkish hue.
That in a nutshell is how Ulster rugby are these days, a little jaded, diminished by a few years of being through the wringer but the red hand, the symbol of the province, still has the strength to shine out from its mediocre surroundings.
It’s a fading symbol of a proud past, jaded, crusty, seen too many wars, it is like the humble supporter it needs regenerated. The season so far has felt like the old mug, through the dishwasher way too many times, the lustre having fading, the shine no longer apparent.
We remain a force to be reckoned with, when in the mood but much too often we are in a crisis of confidence and in need of an injection of faith.
My old Ulster mug was sat large in the cupboard,
and it stood ten years near the door.
It seemed taller by half than the other old mugs,
though it weighed not a penny weight more.
It was bought on a day that the team went out to play, and was always my treasure and pride.
The hand still glows red, but the rest’s faded pink, like the team it’s supposed to celebrate.
Small ‘p’ Not On The Road to Perdition.
But is he on the road to an Ireland Jersey?
Never the one to hide behind a bushel, small ‘p’ declared recently he wants to play for Ireland. Fair enough then, I don’t begrudge anyone having ambitions, objectives and dreams but evidence of a consistent game would be a start.
He’s not the first to declare his availability should Ireland come calling because Spence and Cave have already made it clear they could do a number in the Ireland shirt, (probably at 13).
At the start of the World Cup when ailing Ireland were struggling to find form, they sounded like the heir’s apparent declaring their ownership of the crown before the king had died.
O’Driscoll is very much alive, if currently injured and it was a touch premature of the young men to declare their ambitions so publicly.
Appreciate there may have been a bit of journalistic enhancement by Crozier and perhaps some embroidering of comments but there can be no denying the intent in the statements.
Bottom line for the two centres is to play well for your province. Unfortunately with Ulster’s mis-firing backline it‘s difficult just to get a hold of the ball let alone get yourself noticed.
As for small ‘p.’ It will take more than a few decent performances to get into Ireland reckoning. A few swallow-like performances last season didn’t make his Summer and is unlikely to this time around.
Interestingly enough there’s much talk of individuals playing for themselves and not the team. Talk of playing for Ireland is dangerous stuff when there’s much to prove on the home front.
Being Big Al
Under a headline of “Season Over – McLaughlin and Doak Out!!!!” Big Al’s message last Friday night on the UAFC messageboard was typically prescient and to the point-
‘Battling it out with Connacht again after all the money spent. Idiotic coaches leave idiotic performances,’ boomed Al,
‘Glasgow were woeful, but we were worse’.
Warming to his theme he continued.
‘Backline is far too flat, the same mistakes since McGlock and Doak took over. Humphreys, D’Arcy etc have failed for some time now and they’re always selected. We’ve shown no type of gameplan all season and tonight all we did was kick the ball away’.
No punches pulled there Al and sure as shunt follows the fan, the reaction was typically scathing.
We need more posters like Big Al. Posters who have abandoned all pretence at being Nicey and Smashey on the messageboard. Posters for whom intellect is a spy network and reasoning is something you sprinkle on potatoes.
10 Things You Might Not Know or Don’t Want to Know About Ragin’ Raven.
- Ragin’ – to behave, to speak with passion, esp with furious anger!
- Raven – large glossy black species of crow.
- Ragin’ + Raven = a large glossy black species of crow that behaves and speaks with passion, esp with furious anger.
- Ragin’ does not fit the aggressive stereotype of a BMW driver.
- Ragin’ Raven does not fit the aggressive stereotype of a beamer driver unless he spots John E King on a zebra crossing.
- Fortunately for John E King there are very few zebra crossing’s left in Northern Ireland.
- In saying that, Ballygowan has the highest concentration of zebra crossing’s in Northern Ireland, (3 on one roundabout alone!)
- As John E king and Ragin’ are not known to frequent Ballygowan at the same time then John E has less chance of being knocked down on a zebra crossing by a beamer driven by the Raven than I have of winning the Euromillions lottery.
- When the Raven was holidaying in New Zealand this year there just happened to be a rugby tournament on there.
- I don’t know the Raven’s real name, this is rather reminiscent of my 8 years spent playing at Malone RFC where everyone appeared to answer to a nickname.
I digress slightly as I once played centre alongside an outhalf who was known by the nickname of ‘Magic’. Magic was a decent outhalf, very confident, good kicking game and didn’t seem to realise I was playing at 12.
The result was I spent the match shouting, “pass the ball Magic!”
As the match wore I became more frantic in my efforts to receive a pass. “Pass the feckin’ ball Magic!”
Increasingly I began to sound like the singer from Tenpole Tudor in a crowded bar ordering 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps. Not being noticed he loses it and shouts 2 pints of crisps and a packet of lager.
I was desperate for a pass as the end of the match neared and shouted, “ball…Magic…. pass…feckin pass the bladdy thing!” He passed it and I dropped it. Ok that last bit was made up but you know the feeling.
Sort of thing Ulster wingers experience, except they normally get a forward pass.
An Interesting Signature and a Chocolate Concept
A UAFC poster’s signature on the messageboard reads thus:
‘Smear me in chocolate and throw me to the Lesbians’
Don’t profess to have the slightest notion what it all means but it’s an interesting concept and a complete waste of chocolate.
Meanwhile a signature men of a certain age everywhere can relate to reads thus:
‘A man is incomplete until he’s married…… and then he’s finished.’
Corrections, comments or questions?