Don’t know what it is but whenever I was putting together the picture for this piece I kept thinking of the Brady Bunch and now I can’t get that annoying theme tune out of my head.
I’m even making up my own lyrics - “Here’s a story of five lovely Bokkie, Who had come to ply their trade at Ravenhill” – but I’ll leave that sort of thing to Ballpark!
No, this piece is to be about a few rumours I heard over the weekend and how Ulster Rugby are going all out to make our five South African imports feel at home next season with some dramatic changes to the match day experience at Ravenhill.
Don’t worry, they haven’t ordered in a couple of thousand vuvuzelas (at least I hope not), but I do believe that they have commissioned a calypso band to add that little bit of sunshine to the Friday night experience! That should make those rain drenched evenings just fly by!
The new band will play a mandatory four choruses of “Stand Up for the Ulstermen” which will now have to be sung in English, Ulster Scots, Irish and Afrikaans so everyone feels included!
Further changes involve the food franchises, and it’s goodbye to the burger stands and hello to the braai as the Ulster public will be encouraged to arrive at Ravers a couple of hours early (well you’ll need to get there early to fit in all the choruses of Stand Up) and light up the braai’s which will be strategically placed throughout the ground.
Sound’s good, though I don’t think I’ll be able to fully enjoy my steaks and boerewors while chatting to a few bompies for worrying about the 2nd Barrier Crew rooinek’s and Boys on Tour using a bit too much lighter fuel. I can just picture those flags going up in flames and I bet they’ve spent all summer working on a big South African one!
The gourmet experience will be further enhanced by wandering biltong sellers who will sell the salty dried meat throughout the match. All will be washed down by pints of Windhoek, the popular Namibian beer! Hopefully it’ll sell at the same price as it does in South Africa and should prove quite popular at 80 pence a pint!
Unfortunately the deal to sign the Natal Sharks “Flasher Girls” cheerleader team is still in progress and appears to be the main reason why the Pienaar transfer has not yet been officially ratified!
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4 Responses to “The Braai Bunch”
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well ed… if it has to be Windhoek so be it – i’d still prefer the bucket of 6 Castle for 50 rand
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Forgot about those Junty – good call! Particularly if they can provide the same waitresses as in Newlands!
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Hey Ed, i don’t do trailer trash like the Brady Brunch, I’m more high brow than that!!!
In London without internet access, this is a broadcast from a bar in Kingston, ooops security are on to me……gotta go!!
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