Only two questions for the Raven this week as everyone focuses on the start of the new season. I’m sure we’ll have plenty more in the weeks to come as more and more supporters, players and coaches take the opportunity to speak to the Raven personally at the games!
Dear FRU
I’m a sheep farmer who spends long lonely hours down on the farm and have a very understanding fiancée who doesn’t even mind my sheep dip aftershave and dubious substances under my finger nails.
However, all those solitary times tramping the fields have led to unnatural urges towards some of my pedigree flock. How can I stifle these feelings before walking up the aisle?
Sponge Bob Texel Pants
The Raven Replies! Unnatural urges are nothing to be ashamed of, I have them all the time – there’s this little robin I’ve had my eye on for a while now! However, for the sake of your fiancée you’ve got to get it out of your system before the big day. I recommend a weekend in Llanelli with Dewi! After that you won’t be able to look a sheep in the eyes again!
Dear FRU
Though never the slimmest I was once a fairly decent player and have now moved into a coaching role. Everything had been going well until some disreputable fans website likened me to that foul mouthed Vicky Pollard off the TV. Now I have to admit with the right wig there is a striking resemblance but how can I regain credibility among those I’m coaching?
Doe Kee
The Raven Replies! Listen Neil (for it is he) I think you’ve got to make the most of it and embrace your alter ego. Take the wig into the dugout and first dubious penalty awarded against Ulster you should don the wig and rush the ref going “Oh, my God! That is so unfair!” If the ref happens to be Nigel Owens, or Daffyd as he’s affectionately known, you could go into a whole “Little Britain” skit!
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