The Front Row Union can exclusively reveal that a consortium of Ulster business men are preparing to take over Ulster Rugby and remove it from the governance of the Ulster Branch and the IRFU. It is our understanding that the consortium, trading under the name Red Hand Development Limited, are prepared to “buy” Ulster from the IRFU for £20 million and immediately invest an additional £40 million in team development over the next six years and plan to build a 28,000 capacity stadium, called “The Fortress” on the north foreshore of Belfast Lough.
It is believed that the proposal is at an advanced stage and is currently under consideration by the IRFU with the only minor stumbling block being the IRFU committing to play one autumn international at “The Fortress” each year for the next 10 years as it is believed they have already committed a number of fixtures to Thomond Park and The RDS. However our information leads us to believe that the IRFU are prepared to “do a deal” to get rid of the troubled Northern Provence. The only other possible stumbling block of player availability for Ireland was not believed to be an issue and, according to our sources, the consortium are prepared to cap their purchase of non Irish qualified players to six. It is expected that the non Irish players will be “World Class Names” and that the consortium has already instigated a world wide initiative to “financially encourage all Irish qualified players outside of the island to seriously consider the option of returning to Ireland”.
According to our sources the consortium is headed by local entrepreneur and successful businessman A Youngman, who was recently spotted in deep discussion with Ulster CEO Mike Reid at the recent Connacht v Ulster game. However it is thought that the figurehead for the enterprise will be none other than the URSC perpetual chairman I Kimble who is believed to be a lifelong friend of the financial genius Youngman and, surprisingly, it is thought that it was the inclusion of the Ulster Rugby lapdog, Kimble, that switched the balance in favour of the takeover.
Our understanding is that there is, however, one major stumbling block in the way of this “dream” takeover in the shape of the sinister URSC ringmaster and “man who moulded Kimble” J Tevez. “Puppet Master” Tevez, the real force behind the URSC, is thought to have made the takeover conditional of his best friends son being selected to play at least ten games every season for the first three seasons and his sisters husbands mate being made bagman. Not even Ulster Rugby could swallow that one.
More like this:
4 Responses to “Consortium to take over Ulster Rugby”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
The Grousebeaters can provide some further details about this sensational news – thanks to some information recieved from our special UR insider ( Snowy, the black labrador that piddles against the Ravenhill gates). Apparently one of the conditions laid down by Senor Tevez is that the name of “Ulster Rugby” be changed to “Cherryvalley Rugby” and that access to the new stadium would be limited to people with posh accents. The business plan is based on an average home attendance of two – providing a certain Mr Adoo has sobered up. Additional revenue will be raised by making the stadium available for other popular sports and we understand that the Ulster Rolex Polo Club has already indicated it will play there at least once a year.
One of the facilities at the new arena will be a marina, where Mr Youngman can berth his new yacht. A helipad will also be constructed in order to facilitate Chairman Kimble. It is not known whether suitable parking for tractors will be provided.
We will update this information as soon as Snowy is back on the street.
Rate this comment. Like or dislike?
0 
0
For a moment I dreamed, reading the first paragraphs that Ulster might rise once again, but when I saw the names of those involved I realised just what a nightmare it had become.
Rate this comment. Like or dislike?
0 
0
You’re not alone there Parky there have been a few who were taken in by the opening paragraphs only to have their hopes dashed later in the article!
Mind you, if every one is a good boy or girl you might just get what you wish for!!
Rate this comment. Like or dislike?
0 
0
Mind you, if every one is a good boy or girl you might just get what you wish for!! – Really? ah yer just not saying!! Even 3million quid would go a long way, is there anybody out there with a few bob to spare???
Rate this comment. Like or dislike?
0 
0