One of our readers commented that Ulster Coach Matt Williams looks a bit like the legendary Fast Show character Swiss Toni.
For those of you who are too young to remember, Swiss Toni likened every life situation as being “like making love to a beautiful woman” in some rather implausible ways (well implausible for most people but not for Pervyfan)!
Wouldn’t if have been great if our very own Swiss Matt’s interview after the Dragons game had went something like this!
BBC – Do you want to talk us through the two tries scored by Ulster tonight?
Swiss Matt – Scoring a try is very much like making love to a beautiful woman and you can do it in many ways. Dawson dummied to the rear, went round the front and finished up under the uprights! That’s experience for you. Whereas Humphreys being a little bit inexperienced was all up in the air and a bit rushed, but he managed to grasp it in the end and dotted down in the nick of time without too much fumbling.
BBC – There were some problems at the breakdown for Ulster with a lot of penalties given away. Were do you think the problem lies.
SM – We need to command the breakdown. Commanding the breakdown is a bit like making love to a beautiful woman. You’ve got to go in hard with your eyes open, make sure you know where everything is and only use your hands if you’re allowed to. Sometimes we used our hands too much!
BBC – Apart from the penalties your defence has been good with some good tackles. What’s the secret behind this?
SM – It’s quite simple. I tell my players that when they are making a tackle they have to think like they are making love to a beautiful woman. You’ve got to go in low and hard round the legs and get them on their back. Once you are both lying there you’ve got to get into a good position so you can play on. Simple really.
BBC – Yes, well, thanks Matt.
SM – Your welcome!
Do you have your own Swiss Matt quote? Leave it in the comments box below. Not too smutty now – especially you bogboy!
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One Response to “Swiss Matt”
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Always a big fan of swiss toni/Sorry matt, made me smirk. cheers
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