URSC START CONSTRUCTION ON NEW SITE -
Exclusive by Bunter S Fullagin
Construction has started on a new site for the Ulster Supporters Club. From the derelict state of the old URSC one, a new design and build project managed by the Ulster Branch has emerged, the foundations constructed entirely from the debris of the old site. Details are a bit sketchy but it is believed the new construction is in the form of a two storey extension to the back of the Ulster Rugby’s HQ at Ravenhill.
Plans were leaked to me by the fountain in Victoria Square and I can reveal the following design intricacies. A door in Mike Reid’s office will link the extension to HQ with an easy open device on MR’s side and swipe card access on the other. It’s not known at this stage whether it will just be Mike possessing a swipe card to get him back into HQ. (More details to follow in part 2′s interior review)
There will be a Tea Point installed for the committee which will allow them to brew something but not cook it. (I understand that a recent ad to recruit char wallahs with experience in Earl Grey and Darjeeling drew a blank and the committee will have to brew everything on their own.) All cooking will be done in Branch Headquarters.
As far as I can reveal there are no toilet facilities in the extension and any cr*p produced will have to be disposed off through Branch Headquarters.
Speaking from behind an eye beam, Dessie Decker the projects structural engineer revealed that although the URSC extension will look as though it’s joined to HQ from the outside, it is in fact a stand alone edifice. Dessie revealed it has upwards 3000 reinforcing bars which he admitted could weaken as the seasons go by. Not wishing to take total responsibility for the structure, Dessie further admitted the lack of sustainable link to UR could be the death of the project and reckoned without the involuntary input by season ticket holders the whole damn thing would collapse.
A number of M & E features are being planned. The project’s mechanical engineer, a Mr.Donald Duct has explained to me exclusively, that the ventilation system will expel hot air in the Committee Room and exchange it with cold air blown in from Branch Headquarters by means of ducting linked to Mike’s office. This is a one way feature specifically requested by UR. Donald explained that the committee’s idea for a large fan in Mike’s Office was rejected on the grounds there was one there already and it was big enough to take anything thrown at it.
The project’s Electrical Engineer, Sparky has whispered to me exclusively from inside his bear suit at his Belmont Road Office. There will be a range of luminaries installed in the extension. The Committee Room will have dimmable lighting to reflect the goings on there whilst little is wasted on lighting and power to the Corridors.
I have been able to tap a Branch source, about the project, a dark skinned fellow called Mario.
Asked about the lack of DDA facilities, Mario explained it was not expected that any URSC handicaps would be alleviated by spending money on it. Asked about the design flaw in the induction loop installed in the Committee Room which allowed sound to bleed into Headquarters he appeared not to hear.
On the use of low quality lighting, Mario said there was not much point in shedding light on the activities of the URSC. Specifically asked about the lack of light from the back of the building to the Ulster Branch front door, the source said there would be no need for a spotlight on who was treading a path to Mike Reid’s door.
Due to a lack of windows, the source agreed that the view from the URSC would be severely restricted and that anyone outward looking would face a brick wall. Had planning permission been sought? What about fire proofing? I wanted to know. Why make it impervious to being flamed Mario exclaimed.
Next week Bunter previews the interior design with architect Point Blank Rite and Big Red, the Fire chief.
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